


my intuition is telling me there'll be better days

by kbirb



Series: JereJean Week 2018 [2]
Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Anxiety, Anxiety Disorder, Edgar Allan Ravens (All For The Game), M/M, Roommates, USC Trojans (All For The Game)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-12
Updated: 2021-01-12
Packaged: 2021-03-16 21:27:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28713507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kbirb/pseuds/kbirb
Summary: In which Jeremy has a lot of anxiety about the passage of time, especially once it means less with Jean.
Relationships: Jeremy Knox & Jean Moreau, Jeremy Knox/Jean Moreau
Series: JereJean Week 2018 [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2085111
Comments: 2
Kudos: 15





	my intuition is telling me there'll be better days

**Author's Note:**

> _Yeah, my intuition is telling me there'll be better days  
>  I sit in silence and find whenever I meditate  
> My fears alleviate, my tears evaporate  
> My faith don't deviate, ideas don't have a date  
> But see I'm growing and getting stronger with every breath _

Jeremy had always been fearful of one major thing: the passage of time. It always felt like it was sneaking up on him. As a kid, he hadn’t noticed it, until one day he did. It was his dad’s birthday and he was suddenly hit with this thought that his dad was getting older and that one day, eventually, he wouldn’t have his dad. Ever since then, time had been an oppressive weight on his chest.

He had chronic anxiety, this he knew. No one else did, no one else looked at him and saw what was eating at him underneath. But as he got older, the anxiety about time became almost pervasive. 

Then he joined the Trojans and there was something about being surrounded by so much warmth that began to help his anxiety. The school appointed therapist said that his mental illness was largely fueled by the situation, because his home life wasn’t exactly the best. She said that being part of a team and finding a family likely helped him to remain calm.

Even with the calmed anxiety, time still prevailed. He knew he had a limited time on the Trojans, that one day this calm and comfort could go away. Who was to say when he went pro, there would be a family for him there? But whenever Jeremy began to get these anxieties and began to fall apart, his friends would be there. Only Laila and Alvarez knew about his anxiety and they often could tell when he was slipping.

So Jeremy never got rid of his fear of time passing, but it managed to slip to the back of his mind most of the time. Until Jean Moreau joined his team and suddenly there was only a year of time to get to know the other boy. Suddenly, time began an ever increasing anxiety once more.

When Jeremy looked at Jean, he saw someone who had never been given enough time. Someone who time had been ever cruel to, instead of giving him opportunities like it had given Jeremy. His fear of time was almost trivial; what did he have to fear when Jean had gone through so much? 

So Jeremy tried to swallow his fear of time so that he could give Jean his time back. He made sure to spend as much time as possible around him. Which… wasn’t something he minded. It took Jean the entire first summer to warm up to him, which had eaten away at Jeremy because he hated losing any time. But once Jean warmed up, it was like magic. The best thing was getting him to laugh because the smile cracked his stony face and there was a twinkle in his eye that no one could argue was absolutely appealing. He and Jeremy had a lot in common, more than Jean knew at first, and Jean was surprisingly good at calming Jeremy down.

And so time passed and Jeremy filled it with everything he could to make it worthwhile. Time passed and Jeremy began to fall in love with Jean. Fell in love with the freckles that bloomed across his skin as they spent time in the sun together. Fell in love with the careful way that Jean would scoot closer to Jeremy when they watched a movie, like he was scared of spooking him. Fell in love with the way Jean looked at the stars.

Which was unfortunate, because once Jeremy realized he’d fallen for his roommate, time began the oppressive weight again. He only had a few months with Jean left and then he’d leave him behind at USC and join some pro team. This led to Jeremy looking primarily at teams near the university so he didn’t have to leave Jean far behind. Because time wasn’t going to stop passing for him and if he spent it too far away from Jean, his anxiety threatened to take over his entire self. 

Luckily Jean needed Jeremy, too, so he didn’t feel guilty for taking so much of his attention.

Time was going to pass and pass and pass and Jeremy was going to make the most of it.

**Author's Note:**

> Lyrics from Change by J. Cole
> 
> Another JereJean written in 2018 for JereJean week! I'm so glad I stumbled across these again. Exploring Jeremy's mental illness is a concept that forever excites me. I just don't think he would be perfect! I don't think _anyone_ who plays Exy is particularly stable to be honest.


End file.
